OMG ALIENS

"Communicating With Your Teenage Children Before And After An Alien Takes Control Of Their Brains"

"The most valuable asset parents can give their children is self-esteem. Children with a high self-esteem are generally the most successful adults. However, nurturing self-esteem during a child's teenage years can be an impossible task. One
theory of child development explains the reason: Between ages 11 and 13 an alien life force enters your child's brain, and by ages 14 to 16 is in complete control. The alien does not know the English language; therefore neither calm logic nor
screaming in his or her ear will penetrate the brain. About four years after taking possession, the alien life force begins to leave your child's body and a metamorphosis occurs. Your child will begin to understand simple English again and, as with victims of traumatic events, won't remember the past. Thus, children who grow up to be parents do not remember how to communicate with their own children."